Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
