after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
