Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize