i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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