forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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