the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
