the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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