Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm both gender and math confused
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
