How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
