do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
