Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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