p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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