Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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