doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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