You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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