At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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