Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
