your parents love me but you hate me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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