we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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