Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
