so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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