if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
