if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You're like the curious george of whores
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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