Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
