apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
