Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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