i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
