if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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