he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
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Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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