He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
