I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
