Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
