i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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