This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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