I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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