were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize