; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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