dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she smelled like a LAN party
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
