All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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