Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
