So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
