yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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