whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
