cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
