i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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