He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
