in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
