Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
COCAINE IS GR8
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
