Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
