Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
