i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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