Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Everclear isn't food dammit
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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