I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
