I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
