Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
