but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
