Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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