I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
