Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
